The Scenario

I'm craving to be cucked but I’m very jealous and insecure as a partner!

What's Actually Happening

I see posts with this topic online written by young adults or those just beginning to explore the lifestyle. They are fascinating because they take me back to when I first started experimenting with the hotwife and cuckold lifestyles. My own issues were centered more around my reaction to my girlfriend cheating. I was more excited than upset and I grappled with how to behave in a social setting once everyone in our orbit started to catch on. I let that situation go on as long as I could though, I was fascinated both by the excitement I felt when I knew she'd been with "him" and also, observing how she was trying to cover up her clandestine activities (I did feel like a double agent at times, keeping my knowledge about this from her while she thought she was keeping her affair from me).

I think most of us feel similar to the original poster. All of us probably had conflicting feelings in our younger days, being excited about things we thought we should feel jealous and upset about - or more on point, feeling excited and jealous.

What I'd Suggest

If books resonate with you, my handbook (chapter Chemistry and Jealousy) goes into this in more detail. If working through exercises might make more sense as you explore, my workbook may help (Module 3: The Lifestyle Explained).

Insecure people believe their contribution to the relationship is insignificant; jealousy is about themselves, not who they're jealous of. The same insecurities that create fear also fuel arousal; jealousy is both friend and foe and both are necessary in this lifestyle. Expect insecurity to visit, prepare coping strategies rather than trying to eliminate the feelings (or pretending they don't exist).

There are 4 chapters in the handbook which deal with "Managing the Mindset" and propose strategies on how to best deal with jealous feelings and understand where they are coming from, so you can meet them head on. Role Clarity — Reducing "Am I Enough?" Fear - will help firm up your place within this new triad. Knowing your role (and more importantly, your value), can help frame jealousy so that it becomes a part of your arousal (and not your insecurity).

The triad model recognizes that no single person can fulfill every need — this reframes the insecurity of "not being enough" into something closer to "Am I doing a good job with my role?".

The Takeaway

You need to be in a relationship that is safe so you can explore more of these extremes, such as cuckolding. Also, you need to be in a mature headspace where you can better understand yourself and where the jealousy is coming from. If you're young, or are in a young relationship, it's probably better to explore what I describe above first and let some time and experience build before you explore this in any realistic way. Putting in this effort shows your partner you are serious about exploring this dynamic, which increases their confidence in you.